The End of Another Semester

It's almost 8 AM and I'm still up because my sleeping pattern is out of wack! Well actually, throughout the whole semester I usually slept around 5-6 AM and wake up around 12 PM. Ah. I really don't know if this is exactly healthy for my body, but I hope to regain a normal sleeping schedule (11-2) this break.

Reflection of this semester, Fall 2009

it's been quite interesting living at DA HEIGHTZ in Rochdale, the well-renown, or rather notorious spot for parties that hold over its maximum capacity of 30 -- we've had 200-300 people come in and out at our parties. While it kind of sucks to have the downstairs room, the experience living here is quite indelibly memorable. Aside from cheap rent, cheap landry, I am really loving the community aspect of co-op living. I am really going to miss my roommates and this atmosphere when I leave for Viet Nam next year in the Fall. Of course I won't miss the dirtiness of the apartment though. hah!

I declared American Studies as my second major this semester and after taking two of the courses offered under the department, I can say I really like what I am learning and I feel the topics discussed and the different theories really correspond to my own fascinations, curiosity, and questions about American life, or even the questions surrounding the definition of America, being an American, and American culture. Very interesting! Because I'm double majoring now, I'm hoping to graduate by Spring 2011, or Summer 2011 at the latest.

I think one of the most important aspects of this semester for me is the new type of consciousness--or different sets of question in regards to my life here, in San Jose, and elsehwere--that deals with my position being a student here at CAL, an elitist university and how I've realized how alienated and detached I've become.

To tell you the truth, it's quite depressing thinking about how just by being here, by being a Cal student, by having that attached to your name and people's perception of you, it can be quite condescending to other people who do not go to this prestigious university--just by you being you, or what ever/how ever you want to define it.

My birthday is also coming up, December 25, Christmas day. I remember growing up my parents would celebrate Christmas because of me--they did it because they did not want me to feel left out from all the other children at school who would talk about their Christmas day, waking up bright and early in the morning, running to the Christmas tree with their parents close by opening up presents under the shining light the Christmas tree star, and how they got the newest toy that they had always wanted and or the newest video game, or pair of shoes, or skateboard. My parents wanted me to feel like I was a part of America.

I wish I could show more gratitude to them now, but it's hard because emoting has never been an easy thing for especially when I am at home. I don't know if that type of tendency is part of my psyche or habits or whatever, but it's very hard to express how I really feel at home. You can say it's cultural, but there can always be a change. Perhaps I'm just not used to being expressive at home because lyrical or verbal love is not emphasized in my family; love is rather a form of sacrifice, and it's usually silent. Hmm..

I don't want to drag on for too long. It'll be dull. Until next time. I really have to get back to sleep. I'll be sure to get on this more since it's quite therapeutic.